


But Do You Recall...

by Viridian5



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Christmas, Costumes, Crack Fic, Holiday, Humor, Kink, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-12-13
Updated: 1998-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-02 07:58:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viridian5/pseuds/Viridian5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mulder gets an unusual Christmas gift.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But Do You Recall...

**Author's Note:**

> For Te, 'cause she said that I'd _own_ her if I wrote this. Title by Te. Righteous beta by Orithain.
> 
> Inspirations: [Goth slut Mrs. Claus costume,Religious Sex window display Christmas 1999](http://viridian.shriftweb.org/Mrsclaus.jpg). (The '98 display I used as inspiration didn't have the riding crop and vinyl jacket!) Also, [Bergdorf Goodman window display, Christmas 1998](http://viridian.shriftweb.org/reindeer.jpg) (photo by _The Village Voice_).
> 
> Another Manic!Viridian Production. A 1998 Whammy co-winner for Best Use of Props.

"Are you sure you don't want one of us to see you to the door?" Byers asked as Mulder stumbled out of the beat-up VW van.

"I can make it to the door. Just fine. You'll see," Mulder said in that very careful way drunks did when they didn't want the world to realize they were drunk. Frohike just rolled his eyes. Then Mulder seemed to get an entirely different thought. "Hey, Byers, ya wanna come in for a nightcap?"

"I think you've had enough, Mulder," Langly said. "Go home."

Mulder's whole face fell. "Nobody loves me. Nobody. Even you three have each other."

"Everything will be better in the morning," Byers said softly, kindly, then took another good look at how soused Mulder was and amended, "Well, maybe the afternoon."

"Nope. It'll still be Christmas. 'Night, boys." Mulder wandered to the door of his building and let himself in after much fumbling.

As Langly slid the side door shut, Byers asked, "He just propositioned me, didn't he?"

"Sure did, Princess," Langly answered.

"So that's why you got so nasty with him."

"Nasty? Stern but loving is more like it."

"You're so cute when you're jealous."

"Go to hell."

"We wanted to make him happy, but we just made him drunk."

"We did our best, just like last year," Frohike said as he shifted the van into drive. "Short of giving him a Christmas miracle, there's nothing we can do."

  


* * *

Mulder knew he had the key to his door on this ring. Knew it. Maybe he'd be able to get it if he weren't so blitzened. He let his head fall against the door.

Fucking Christmas. He knew the boys meant well, but Thanksgiving and Christmas were forever entwined with Samantha's disappearance and the disintegration of his family. One of the most family-centered holidays on the calendar could only remind him of the things he'd lost. He couldn't even call Scully tonight because she had gone to see her family. Wasn't fair to bring her down with him anyway.

He finally got the door open and immediately knew something was wrong. He didn't have his gun but turned on the light anyway. And gaped.

Krycek sprawled on Mulder's couch. That might not have been so unusual, but the way he was dressed.... If he had been merely twisted, he might have dressed in a Santa costume. Instead, he'd dressed as an X-rated version of Mrs. Claus: with a short, short red velvet dress lined with white fur at the hem of the tiny, flouncy skirt and top of the bodice, a black leather corset laced tight, his pale shoulders bare except for the straps to his prosthetic arm, black vinyl evening gloves topped with white fur, and his long expanse of fishnet-clad legs capped in shiny vinyl boots topped with ruffs of white fur. A shift of those legs showed that they were clad in thigh-highs with black straps leading up to a black, lacy garter belt.... All that black provided more contrast for the red bow tied around his erect cock. Mulder looked up and away desperately and saw that a fur-lined red velvet Santa hat with fur pom-pom topped Alex's head.

_//Please let this be a dream or the DTs. I don't want this to be real. Then again, if this is somewhere in my mind, I'm in deep shit.//_

Krycek playfully dangled something in his right hand. Mulder saw leather straps and buckles... reins with jingle bells and a harness. Antlers on a headband rested on the table.

A million retorts struggled through his mind, but Mulder choked out, "You want to play Mrs. Claus and the Naughty Reindeer?"

Krycek smirked. "You've been a very bad boy, Mulder."

_//Oh, hell, this is actually starting to appeal to me....//_ "Gee, Mrs. Claus, I wouldn't want to piss off Santa... I really don't need any coal." Krycek's arousal tented the tiny skirt, making it even less concealing. "And I see you've already put up the tree."

"It's fucking 3 a.m. I got impatient." Looking at Mulder only made Alex more so. As good as the man looked in a leather coat and jeans, he would look even better clad just in that harness....

Mulder figured that the only thing to do with a skirt like the one Alex wore was crawl under it. "Well, at least you waited to let me trim it." Mulder was on his knees immediately, with thoughts of tree skirts dancing through his alcohol-fogged brain. He wanted this so badly. Only Alex could appeal to his lust and warped sense of humor at the same time.

The lace of the garter belt felt a bit harsh against Mulder's face, but the bow and the underside of the skirt felt so soft, but in different ways. The softness of silk against the softness of velvet. Softest of all was the skin, sheathing wonderful hardness. Mulder caressed it with his tongue, drawing warm circles and dipping into the slit. Then Mulder wrapped his gift with his mouth and started to suck.

Alex leaned, boneless, against the wall and gasped. "I knew the thigh-highs were a good idea. Fishnet tights get tangled up around your legs, and you have to wear underwear with them because your unmentionables can get trapped in some really painful ways...."

Mulder chuckled against the throbbing flesh in his mouth, making Alex moan. The sound became more plaintive when Mulder pulled away, letting the cock drop from his lips with one lingering kiss to its head. "Trust me," Mulder said before he started to suck on three of his own fingers.

"It should be my choice if I want to return a gift," Alex said with a slow smile, as he saw where this was heading.

"I'm just getting you an upgrade." Mulder's mouth returned to its candy cane as those fingers made slow progress back, stroking Alex' trembling balls, then his perineum, than further back, circling, teasing... before thrusting those fingers up, one at a time.

Alex became more vocally appreciative but less comprehensible once Mulder synchronized the sucking and stroking, with Alex assisting his former partner in any way he could. At least Mulder seemed to know what he meant. It felt so damned good, even with how cold those fingers were.... Hell, the cold seemed to add something. He bucked and writhed and made the prettiest sounds of enjoyment he could manage. He also had to keep reminding himself to loosen his death grip on Mulder's hair. He exploded into that hot embrace, more than happy with Mulder's mouth around his cock and fingers up his ass and the best still to come.

Mulder sat back with a happy-stunned look on his face that only deepened as Alex swooped down for a long, deep kiss and took advantage of the moment to pull his leather jacket off. One-handed. Mulder smirked and helped. "It's been months, Alex."

"I've been busy. You got my e-mails?"

"Not the same."

"Obviously. I'm going to have to warm your hands up."

"You weren't complaining a moment ago."

"A moment ago, it added something. Now it's just annoying." After another long kiss and Mulder losing his boots, Alex asked, "They got you drunk on cheap beer?"

"They started with the good stuff and went on to the cheap when they figured I was too drunk to tell the difference anymore."

"Wise. Now strip."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Don't make me use the riding crop."

"You _brought_ a riding crop?"

Alex laughed at that eagerness. "Well, I am going to ride you...."

Mulder might have beaten some records for speed-stripping. Alex watched appreciatively, his smile widening when Mulder put on the harness and realized that it put a cold metal buckle atop each of his nipples. "You think of everything," Mulder said.

"Damned right," Alex said as he admired the lean body of his mount. Mulder was already erect and dripping for him.

Mulder jingled as he moved. "Do I have to wear the antlers?"

"Yes."

"You're lucky I'm so drunk and horny."

"Don't I know it." Alex picked up the riding crop and drew a gentle line down Mulder's chest with it. "But first put your hand down my top. I come bearing gifts."

"As always, but you coming is gift enough...." But Mulder obediently rummaged, his chill fingers sometimes pinching an available nipple, until he found the condom and small tin of slick. "It's red to match your outfit. You put some forethought into this."

"This kind of demented originality takes some effort, even for me."

Mulder untied the bow around Alex's cock and smiled as his lover moaned at the feel of the silk sliding away under caressing fingers. He stroked the red condom on and followed it with heated slick. "I think we're almost ready for the tree lighting ceremony," Mulder said.

"I see it more as the replanting of the tree. Now you prepare yourself before putting the antlers on."

"I'm not--" The riding crop stung against his bare ass, and Mulder shivered. "It's only punishment if I don't like it."

"I'll find a way."

"You would, too, you bastard...." Mulder slicked his fingers further and slid them up inside. He writhed and groaned, accompanied by the jingling of the bells on his reins, in sluttish abandon as he thoroughly finger-fucked himself, watching with a grin as Alex looked ever hungrier as moments passed. He stroked his dripping cock with his other hand but got his fingers lightly smacked with the crop.

"Not yet. Now put the antlers on and get on your hands and knees."

"You're going to kiss my rug burn and make it all better?"

Alex thwapped Mulder's ass with the crop a few more times, but said, "I'll kiss whatever I have to."

"I have to be out of my mind." Mulder put the antlers on and answered Alex's laughter with, "Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat."

Mulder went down his hands and knees, giving Alex the view he'd waited for. The agent's ass was pink, shiny, and eager for his cock. Perfect. Alex looped the reins around the hand of his prosthetic arm and grinned as the ringing bells and delay made Mulder tremble with anticipation, not unlike a racehorse waiting for the start....

Alex crouched above him and drew the riding crop over his erect cock, between his balls, and then slid it in and out of him, over and over. Panting, Mulder begged, "Alex, just fuck me please. I want your cock...."

Deciding that the torture had gone on long enough for them both, Alex pulled out the crop and substituted it with the gift Mulder really wanted. Knowing that the agent wanted to be ridden hard, he stroked in roughly, sheathing himself to the balls in close heat, then started to thrust quickly and deeply. Mulder bucked and moaned beneath him, especially when he used the crop to caress the older man's cock....

They moved together accompanied by jingling bells and frenzied cries, with Alex occasionally gasping something like, "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen." Mulder drowned beneath the friction of Alex's cock sliding hard and hot in his ass, cold metal against his nipples, and warm, firm leather stroking his cock. The occasional sting when the crop moved elsewhere only goaded him further. He came hard and saw a spray of multi-colored lights before he collapsed.

Alex felt Mulder's whole body shudder under and around him, ruthlessly milking him to his climax, before it went limp and boneless beneath him. Screaming, Alex thrust a few more times before he went over the edge himself.

Crumpled together and still entwined, they fought to catch their breath. Mulder's shoulder gleamed with sweat, and Alex couldn't resist giving it a loving lick. "You cleared all the bugs out first, right?" Mulder asked.

Alex laughed. "You're worried about that _now_? A little late, isn't it?"

"I had other things on my mind."

"Yes, I made sure the place was clean first. While I'm sure they'd love to have some pictures of this for their Christmas cards, I wasn't game."

Mulder rolled over in a ringing of bells and kissed Alex. "I guess I was a good boy this year after all."

"Oh, yeah."

Mulder's hands slid beneath the short skirt again to knead the bare ass so lovingly showcased by red velvet and white fur. "Do I get to mount you later?"

Alex writhed as the fingers slid in again. "That's sick. It goes against nature," he gasped and laughed.

"While this, by contrast, is the very picture of health."

"Of course." Alex moaned as Mulder's fingers deftly stroked his prostate. "Okay, Donner, you get to replant _your_ tree later."

 

 

### End

 

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Things started so simple but ended so complicated and twisted.... SR 71allie mentioned Krycek in a Santa suit. When I told Te about it, I also brought up a Goth slut Mrs. Claus costume I saw in the window at Religious Sex in the Village. She decided she wanted to see Alex in _that_ and said that giving her "Alexinnaskirt" would enable me to own her. Then I thought of one pretty damned bizarre and rather S&amp;M Christmas display window at Bergdorf Goodman (only in New York). In it, two (clothed) female mannequins with antlers, in harness, pull a sled holding a woman in ballgown, tiara, and hooded fur-trimmed coat, while a title card explains, "With all the conveniences of modern living... Donner and Blitzen still preferred dashing through the snow." Suddenly, Mulder had to wear antlers and a harness....

So there's your glimpse into the mind of Viridity. Scared yet?


End file.
